Relationships

I am not one to speak in absolutes but the truth is, your relationship to yourself is of the upmost importance and throughout this entry, I will speak on behalf of our relationship to our bodies and minds.

Before we begin, take some time to answer these questions with some depth.  Dig deep and speak from your heart, there is no judgement here even towards yourself.  Be honest and raw.

"The only reason we do not step into the light is because we are too busy hiding in the dark."
             - Zeeky Vincent

How is your relationship to yourself?
How do you speak to yourself?
Do you treat yourself well? How?

"Start with the thing closest to you"
            - Jasher Feellove

What does this mean?  What is closest to us?
Our body?
Mind?
Breath?

The answer, all of the above.

This seems like a lot to channel in and connect with all at once so let us start with our relationship to our bodies, arguably the closest thing to us.  We came to this planet inhabiting this physical vessel of flesh, bones, and organs.  In this lifetime, we only have this body so why not treat it as the sacred space it is.
Have you ever noticed that when your body doesn't feel well, other areas of yourself such as your mentality slowly molds with the way you feel?

So how important is our relationship to our body?  I'd argue and say it is one of the most important and possibly even the easiest to build a healthy relationship with.

What does it mean to have a healthy relationship with your body?

As loaded of a question this is, I will break down what I have come to feel as what it means to have a healthy relationship with your body.

First and foremost, we should start with the things we put into our bodies.  I am not here to judge nor tell you how or what to eat/drink but more so open our minds up to making healthier choices that will affect our bodies in a positive and energizing manner.  If we can look at our body like a machine, we can see that the more power you give to a machine, the higher output.  What goes in creates what comes out.  If we eat processed foods with high sugars, this only gives us a momentary boost of energy followed by the inevitable crash.  One the other hand, what if you ate nutrient dense foods such as vegetables?  Can you begin to notice the difference?  We must educate ourselves to eliminate ignorance.  The more we self-educate, the more we learn, and the more we learn the less possibility of ignorance there is, other than choosing to be so.
Now lets move to exercise.  Another way to build a healthy relationship with your body is to get out and move it!  In some form or another, find movement in any means necessary.  Even if it is a quick mile run everyday, pilates, yoga, or whatever other modality you can think of, just get out and move, have fun with your body!  Have a playful and fun relationship with your body and devote time to make it happen.
As a personal trainer, I have come across a very common statement, "I don't have the time".  This statement is 100% an excuse.  I get it, life gets busy and priorities go elsewhere.  But that is just it... priorities!  There are more important things for us to take care of and we may neglect the closest thing to us.  That is completely understandable but don't you think and I am sure we will mostly agree that if there is one thing to prioritize the importance of in your life it is your health?  Our relationship to ourself is the one relationship we should have a relentless attitude towards maintaining.

We owe it to ourselves to treat our bodies right through proper nutrition and exercise so lets get out there and do it!  All it takes right now in this moment is to say yes to change.  If we want things in our life to change, we must change the things in our life.  These "things" are what we currently do.  Example, if we watch TV right when we get home from work, we will keep getting the same results but say if we came home one day and decided to go workout instead, the things in our life will begin to change by way of doing some different.  Most importantly, remember that change is an ongoing process and will be difficult at times so stay consistent and be persistent in your desire to changes the things in your life.

Our perception of ourselves carries great importance.  Our relationship to our body is more than just the actions we take, it is also the thoughts we think about our bodies.  Self-acceptance is a beautiful process but sometimes a difficult one.  I know I have been in situations where I was very self-conscious about parts of my body.  What I learned is that instead of criticizing these parts of myself or not loving them, I finally, through years and years, chose to accept them for what they were and how they looked.  The moment I did this, these parts of me started to change.  It was my negative focus upon thee accepts of myself that cemented them into the ground, unable to change.  It was through acceptance that I could move forward and shift my perception upon these bodily characteristics of mine.  I offer us this...whatever it is you do not like about your body, if anything, accept it for what it may be NOW.  I know this may sound hard but by accepting it for what it is now, we can then move forward in positive state.

Our relationship to mind is one that can be intensified positively through our relationship and treatment of body.  Jason Silva says that we are a "bodybrain", meaning that there is no separateness of mind, body, spirit, etc.  EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED.  We are a system and in order for the entire entity to work efficiently, we must have a positive and deliberate connection to all dimensions of ourself.  If we first put some emphasis on building our relationship to our body, our mind will inevitably begin to change with us.

What do I mean by mind?

Mind encompasses thought patterns such as how we think and what we think.  In this particular instance, I am speaking about how we think and what we think about ourselves.  Do we speak kind to ourself or do we use words that limit us, make us feel unworthy, or whatever else it may be?

Thought patterns are conditionings generally from past experiences.  This is a tough process to build a healthy relationship with because for many of us, we are in the grasps of our ego.  We have become identified and found our identity through forms.  These forms range from material objects to thought forms as well, each one being of a less density which still does not define its importance and impact.  In order to move beyond this ego state to start to rebuild and strengthen our relationship to self, we must first take some time to see who and what we are not.  When we see past and dis-identify with these sometimes made up, assumed, victimized stories, our ego slowly loses its power because we navigate away from identifying with this form.
This is not an easy overnight process, stay patient and be relentless in the discovery of who you truly are and be fearless in exploring and letting go of who you are not.  Remember, you are not the things you posses, or who people think you are (Self-fulfilling prophecy), your job title, past experiences, woman, man, these are just forms that the ego grabs a hold of to give you a falsified sense of self.  In order to build a healthy relationship with our minds, first understand that we are not our thoughts.  Have you ever wondered who the one who listens is?  Who listens to the internal dialogue?   Take a moment to think about that.  There is an infinite and eternal awareness that is our being.  Discover and connect with that awareness and then we can begin to develop a healthier relationship to our mind.  By being aware of our ego, we then begin to move beyond it...we start our process of enlightenment.  This is not to say to try and eliminate your ego because our ego does in fact have importance on this earthly plane.  That discussion I will save for another time.  Peace and Love to you all...Thank you, truly, from the depth of my heart.

"WE ARE BEYOND FORM.  WE ARE FORMLESS THAT HAS INHABITED FORM."
               
                    - JB


"When you truly discover and know who you are, people will no longer have the urge to tell you who you are."

"When we take care of ourselves, ourself begins to take care of us."