We SHOW it how we KNOW it

Have you ever been upset because of an expectation you put on someone and they didn't deliver?  Whether we were aware about this put-on expectation or not?

I can say that I have and it was this moment of awaking to it that I realized it was me who was causing this suffering, not the other person.

When we put something in another persons hands and are attached to the outcome, we are setting ourselves up for possible and probable suffrage.  Some people deliver and others don't.

My awakening thought to this phenomena was, "How can we expect someone to do something when they may not know how to do it?"

This question goes a lot deeper than what you just read, think about the ending to that statement, "they may not know how to do it" (according to our expectation of it) in this particular case I am talking about love

Our expectation of how something should be done is what causes our suffering.

To better explain let me give you a personal experience I had with this.

Through my childhood and into my teenage years, I had a father who showed his love through money and at this time I was not aware that this is not how I feel love from someone.  We always went out to eat, had the nicest things, amazing gifts for christmas, went on cruises, and the list goes on...all money driven.  Now, I'm not saying this is bad whatsoever, I enjoyed every moment thoroughly with him, my step mom, and half brother, until my early twenties when that money was gone and those experiences slowly settled.

I am someone who values communication of ones feelings towards another.  We all receive and give love in different ways and this is what led me to the phrase, "we show it how we know it".

For years I wished my father had shown me love in the way (I) wanted him to, key word, "I".  This is the underlying expectation I put upon him to deliver love in the way I wanted him to.  You see everyone, not everyone is going to express to you the way you want it to be, or do something in a way you want it to be done.  We act and deliver on the basis of what we know from past experiences.

So I offer us this, keep in mind that people show love how they know love.  Our expectations can keep us from experiencing authentic and raw love in the form of how the other person knows it which may or may not be in alignment with how we want it to be.  What we can do is show them unconditional love and put love into our hands and have the expectation that they are showing it the best way they know how.

How and what we feel should never be in the hands of another person, if there is any lesson we can take away from this, it is to love without conditions (expectations), and bring to light the mantra, "we show it how we know it".

Namaste my friends.